Hanging out in the Library. I have dropped out of my university course but it is great I can still use the facilities.
Decided to make a blog where I can post whatever whenever rather than working towards my degree in computer science.
I left my MSc half finished to do teacher training. Then I realised I didn't want to be a teacher. Now back doing computer science. I am terrible at coding and don't even know why I am studying it. Don't know why I am doing anything to be honest.
Find myself wandering aimlessly sometimes, although sometimes that aimlessness too has an aim of it's own. Almost always a means to avoid doing my work. I am lazy and don't do things properly. I don't like doing work until I am doing it, then I like it too much and loose myself to it.
Started doing therapy to work through my troubles. I'm not troubled enough to feel as though I need or deserve therapy. Yet my life is messy enough at the moment that I have saught it out as a means of securing a good future.
Try to stay positive I tell myself. But I tell myself all manner of silly and unuseful things. Hoping for a good day and a better tomorrow. Then I will write my self-help book.
I drove to the library today and I feel as though I have been robbed of something divine which lies along the paths between home and here. The ducks. Quack quack. Music to my ears.
Thank you,
Dan
